Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The Gottman method of couples counseling provides a thorough assessment of the relationship at many levels during the first three sessions. This method focuses on communication, physiology, and emotion to help couples look at improving how they manage conflict, build friendship/intimacy and experience shared meaning over time. My approach involves 90 minute weekly sessions. I tell client’s “it doesn’t help to drive any faster if we don’t know where we are going”. During the first session I use a structured oral interview to hear more about the relationship, ask you to have a 10 minute “conflict” conversation, and invite you to fill out online questionnaires at home (independently) before the second session. During the second session I meet with each of you individually for 45 minutes and receive the completed questionnaires back. I score these and compare them prior to the third session. During the third session I describe the Gottman concept of the Sound Relationship House and review what I see are the strengths and areas in need of improvement in the relationship. From there we set treatment goals together and I check to see if you both would like to continue. I advise couples to decide on a time frame (for example 1, 2, or 3 months) where they dedicate themselves to the work and each other and then evaluate how they are doing at the end of that time. Of course many couples request longer term counseling or check in periodically even after they cut back on sessions as this allows them to hold onto positive changes.
%
of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years.
%
of new parents experience a precipitous drop in couple satisfaction in the first three years of the baby's life.
%
of conflict in relationships is about unresolvable, perpetual problems.
%
of marriages survive if they attend couples counseling after an affair
Benefits and Advantage of Marriage Counseling
for Couples and Those Around Them
- Recognizing and acknowledging unhealthy tendencies within a relationship is the first step to being able to make positive changes
- Working together with a third party member (the therapist) couples are often more able to see areas in need of improvement
- Using a therapist as a mediator, couples can work together to find practical skills and solutions for problems pertaining to their relationship
- Using therapy as a safe place, couples can speak openly and rebuild trust and commitment within their marriage
- Together with a therapist, couples can learn and practice helpful techniques to continue working together and creating a happier and healthier relationship than when they first sought counseling